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Nicholas DeMara

ARRIVED   June 6, 1945
DEPARTED   October 5, 2018


  • I have been searching for Dr. Demara since 2009. I was court ordered to see Dr. Demara with my ex-husband who was physically and mentally abusive. After 4 sessions, Dr. Demara asked for me to attend by myself as well, and during those visits we dig deep into my abusive marriage. Dr. Demara said that I’m his line of work he would never recommend or suggest that a family or couple be separated, because his job was to unify but he told me he hoped I sought other means of support and help because I was not safe nor was anything going to change short of medicating my ex. We stopped going to counseling, my ex continued to beat me and I got the courage to leave. The ONLY positive point of view I had, was Dr. Demara. Thanks to HIM, I left my ex-husband and my children and I are safe. I have since remarried to an amazing man, and I owe my push and thanks to Dr. Demara’s persistence! Rest Well Dr. Demara, and thank you.

  • i’m glad i finally found my way to this page. he was the first person who i ever saw clinically to talk about my transgender identity. later on, he became my regular therapist. he helped me a lot. we last spoke on the phone on a friday in october; our call ended early because he felt unwell. i have worried about him & was unable to find anything about what happened. i hope that he is now at rest and at peace. from all our conversations it sounded like he lead a remarkable life and he helped many. he will be missed! ??

  • Nick was a classmate of Delhaas High School in Bristol Township PA…
    He was always well liked and a leader.
    As far as I know, he never attended any of our reunions altho, we talked
    a few times in the phone and by emails…..
    He sent a letter of all his accomplishments to our 50th reunion, that read
    out loud to our group.
    Have passed on his passing on to our surviving classmates.

  • I am shocked and saddened by Nick’s passing. Nick was my therapist. He was kind and really wanted to help his patients.
    I shall never forget him. His nice looking ties. He was a genuine man. I shall miss him greatly.

  • Nick was one of the last surviving members of the Shanti training we took in July 1983. He was a helper and carer right down to the end . . . what a way to live one’s life. Thank you Nick!

  • Sad to hear this news. I left a message on his phone just a couple of days ago to let him know I had completed getting a 501 (c) (3) established that he had helped with. Sympathy for his friends and family.

  • I am saddened to learn of Nick DeMara’s death
    I worked with Nick at Operation Concern starting in the early 1980s until he moved to Santa Rosa.
    He was a dedicated psychotherapist who worked in San Francisco during the height of the AIDS epidemic.
    He was a kind, lovely man who will be missed by many in the Billys and the mental health community

  • I did not know Nick was a Billy. Or that he lost his home in the fires, as we did.
    I knew Nick as the caring psychologist who tried to help my brother as he descended into his madness.
    He made a valiant effort, alas, to no avail.
    I will miss him.

  • Bill Blackburn writes:
    I’m very sad to hear of Nick DeMara’s death. In addition to being a Billy and attending Sonomen potlucks, Nick was a psychologist at Santa Rosa Kaiser where he helped many gay men, trans people, and Spanish-speakers, working long hours beyond what was required of him.

    He lost his home to the Tubbs fire a year ago and yet he came out of retirement to help with the rise in need for theraputic intervention amidst the traumas caused by the fires.

    He was a man of refined taste, a gentle, generous soul and great heart. He is missed.


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