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Joe Kukulka

ARRIVED   September 17, 1950
DEPARTED   January 26, 2018


  • So sorry to read about the passing of Joe Kukulka. So many fond memories of this gentle, colourful spirit, whom I shared many Billy Gatherings with. I didn’t even know you were Canadian Joe! Happy trails till we meet at the end of the Rainbow Bridge.

  • River Lebow writes:

    Joe was the first billy i connected with at my first billy potluck in Oakland in 2002. I was talking to him about getting on billenet. Here was this handsome,long haired guy in front of me and we started to kiss in the kitchen and that kiss became very passionate. Before long,we were going back to my cottage in the Berkeley Hills and hanging out.

    I watched him over the years getting worse. I tried to offer him some love as i could. I was happy he had Sparky to take care of him. I’m sorry to hear of his passing.What a loving man he was!!

  • Lou Ceci writes:
    I received word yesterday that my friend and Billy brother Joe Kukulka passed away ten days ago.

    I met Joe at a Billy potluck in 2001. The Billys were a new thing to me, one of the adventures I undertook to restart my life after Don died. I found Billy heart circles pretty terrifying, so Joe took me by the hand and led me to a loft where we could hear the circle below us while we made out.

    We were born in the same year, but he was two days earlier on September 17th. For the two days until my birthday on the 19th, I was allowed to call him “old man.”

    When Joe’s partner, Spike, wrote at Christmas this year, he said Joe was in the hospital. If I wanted to see him, he said I should come “soon.” I didn’t go. I was too afraid.

    Rest in peace, dear Joe. I’ll be the old man from now on.

  • I am ever grateful to Joe for his dedication to the Billys- all those years of moderating a contentious internet discussion group that must have felt at times like herding cats. He was such a sweet guy.

  • I met Joe at one of my first retreats in 2001 after my partner Joeray had passed from a very painful death. He was only 33 years old! Joe was so sweet and comforting , as were all the other men at the gathering. But, I’ll never forget him for his caring and sensitive conversations. He was remarkable. And a VERY attractive man.! I remember being very attracted to his best friend, David.

    Later, I got to meet his long term Life partner at the time, Robin, who is now one of my very closest friends. Through a complicated Peyton Place series of events (ie. husband swapping and open sexual relationships) we all became close. Robin and Gregg, Joe and Spike were my role models. The sweetest and most caring of men.

    Maintaining friendship and love after their relationship changed drastically and was an eye opening event for me. I had just lost who I believed was the love of my life to AIDS, but here were these other HIV+ men that are continuing to love and respect each other and continue to re-define their relationships with other people . WOW.

    Joe was a really cool guy. I will miss him. Sorry for the pain and suffering he went through and so respecting Spike for taking care of him never complaining !

    Wish I had taken the time to get to know him better, but the Joe I knew was a great man and I’m very proud to have got to spend the limited time with him and Spike, who I totally love.

    We are all dog lovers. I hope to see Spike and the dogs soon.

  • Bill Blackburn writes:

    I’m really sad to hear of Joe’s death. He was a Sweetheart! And yes, he was a stellar moderator for Billenet when it was going through difficult times. My heart goes out to Sparky!

  • Jason Serinus writes:

    My heart breaks to learn of Joe’s passing. He was such a lovely, lovely man, as well as a devoted servant of the higher good. We met in LA, through Richard Labonte. Every time I saw him, he made me feel whole and respected.

    Thanks, Robin letting us know.

  • Robin Levitt writes:
    I must sadly report the death of Joe Kukulka, long-time Billy and early billenet moderator. He was born Sep. 17, 1950 in Ottawa and died Jan. 26, 2018 in San Francisco after fighting Parkinsons disease for many years. He was married to John Spakas. Joe and I attended our first gathering soon after partnering up, probably in 1990. I remember well his diplomacy and frustration as he refereed early issues among the Billys. At the time, even the idea of a web presence was debated. He handled it all with aplomb as he did the rest of his life. He will be greatly missed.


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