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Brian Haley

ARRIVED   April 13, 1956
DEPARTED   August 18, 2017


  • Hi, Thank you all for your kind memories of B. It’s been 14 months since he departed (I like that wording) and he has kept in touch with visiting me, “tapping me on the shoulder”, from time to time. It’s hard not only to lose such a partner with such a wonderful energy, but the person for whom I was inspired to cook and launder, and with whom I discussed current events and hosted friends in our home and at the cabin. Although I have come out of the initial shock of his death, I feel that I have been not only forever blessed to know him but forever changed, if that makes any sense. It’s not fun to be alone after such a sweet time together. Thank you again!

  • I periodically tell others of Brian’s 50th birthday disco dance party–where for our amusement he also presented (on a TV monitor)–the SNL Molly Shannon skit–“I”M 50!!!! And he showed us his entire life up to that point in beautifully organized photo albums. And always his joyous, infectious laughter! And his dancing at Sundance Saloon–iconic in his cowboy hat and boots! And the one New Year’s day when I took my son Matthew (then 16) to Palm Springs with me to spend a day with Brian and George. Brian took such an active interest in Matthew, conversing with him on a range of topics–serious and silly–becoming an uncle figure in an instant.

    A kind, sincere man….

    Brian, you will always be 50 to me! With appreciation and love,

  • Brian was a faithful friend even when I wasn’t. Although we met in the mid 90s in Sacramento where we both grew up, we became friends when I moved to Sonoma Co. in 99. He hired me to install gardens at all his different homes and I even worked for his mom. He promoted me and my work vigorously to any potential client he came across. We had ups and downs but every year on my birthday he sent or quietly delivered a birthday card. Last time we caught him in the act and made him come in. I’m grateful that he wanted me in the loop and I was able to visit with him and his husband , David Bowes several times in the last 2 months. Brian even hired me one last time. I said goodbye 2 days before I went to Europe and 5-6 days of before he died. Tonight our tiny fairy gathering had a fire of remembrance here in Romania. I mentioned Brian and one other Billy by name as I tossed an aster and a fir cone into the flames both for remembering and for a prayerful for the survival of reason and love in the world.

    Joe Balestreri

  • Brian was a really handsome and sweet man. I will miss his warm smile.
    Bruce MacDonald

  • Brian came to quite a few Billy gatherings, was often a sub-cordinator, put on dances in the heart-lodge, always wearing his cowboy-hat and always smiling – Brian has been missed by me in many recent gatherings and now will be missed forever…

    Hugs to Brian and all of you alive and dead Billys


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